control freak

It's been a crazy couple of weeks. Not the kind of weeks I used to have where I'm so busy I couldn't even think...just the kind of week like so many here where I have to figure out what the next steps are when they aren't so obvious. When I taught school, there were unexpected things, kids falling out chairs or sucking a pencil up their noses in the middle of class but I could predict from day to day pretty much what was going to happen and even more so I could control it (for all my former students who think my classes were out of control, it wasn't as much as you think!). Now...I don't always know what is happening but I definitely know that I am not in control.

Part of what I knew would happen when I changed ministries was giving up that control--not that I knew what that meant but it is a good thing. Part of walking daily in my faith means not knowing what is going to happen and giving up that control. Everything is new which has turned out to be really exciting and completely terrifying. I have learned again what it means to leave my life in God's hands...to place my hand in his like a little kid does with a parent, unquestioningly going along (well, I usually did and do ask where we are going). I think one of things I appreciate most is God's assurance that being out of control does not mean living without purpose...it is all part of His plan whether we see it or not. What is left is in my control is extending myself to spend time with people, stopping to have a conversation with a neighbor when I thought I was on the way to the bank, taking time to chat on the computer with someone who needs to talk when I was doing my homework. What a joy to have the time to invest in people--maybe just a handful but all part of God's plan.