strenthening the soul

I haven't written for a while. It's not that nothing is happening or that I've been too busy but instead that I've entered this new phase of life that is not what I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong--I love it. I'm getting to spend time mostly one-on-one with people which is my favorite way to pass time with people. I've been given places to be involved in the church and am really beginning to feel part of what is going on here in Utrera. Yet, I've felt weighted down...not by the work, just weighted down.

If it is not the circumstances, not the work, then what is the weight? Finally, it comes back to me...caring for the soul. Do you care for your soul? How? What is the soul? I can't answer these for you but I know that so often when I'm unexplainably tired and listless, I'm usually not caring for my soul or more importantly allowing the Savior to care for my soul. He who cares for my soul more than I, who has a much better grasp of what it is and knows that in the end, it is my soul that sustains me. Could be that our soul is the medium in which God truly communicates with us? If so, when we don't care for this intangible part of ourselves, we can't enjoy the rest that He has for us, can't enjoy His blessings and His comfort...in effect, enjoy life to its fullest.

He does long to be the refuge of our souls, to guard them, protect them. With all the towers, castles, and fortresses that dot the countryside here in Spain, the idea that He provides this protection can be quite visible and stunning. So many of these towers, while perhaps in disrepair, are standing after centuries of wind and rain, sun and heat, attack, and the passing of time. Yet they do stand. They were places of protection in their day, refuges from storm and war and times of trouble. Thankfully, He waits to be that refuge for our souls. Yet He waits for us to place our souls in His hands, not to grab it from us. It is then that we truly see how much He cares for us. It is then that even in the midst of the hardship, the noise of life, or even the constant living of life with its defeats and victories, that we can continue because of the lover of our souls is caring for us from within.

Hmmm, I don't know if the weight is lifted...maybe it is just that He has given the strength from within to take the next steps. Pretty cool.